We hear a lot about how important it is that families sit down and have meals together, but do you know why it is so important? One simple act has profound benefits for young children. To list a few;
Better academic performance
Higher self-esteem
A greater sense of resilience
Lower risk of depression
Lower rates of obesity
I think we can all agree that we want those things for our kids, but feeding little ones and even big kids can be a lot like herding cats. It is hard to find the energy for it when everyone is exhausted from a busy day. Here are a few tips to get you started.
Tip 1: Set yourself up for success!
Prepare in advance.
It can be helpful to create a meal plan and have the supplies on hand. It removes the obstacle of having ‘nothing to eat’ while also reducing the need to think about what to eat. Keep the meals simple. Kids don’t need dinner to be fancy. They just need the time with you. It is much better to have simple food choices and more energy for connection.
Allow for the unexpected
Unexpected things are a normal part of life with a busy family. Plan for this by having back up meals in the freeze or a pile of take-out menus. A favorite take-out dinner can be a special treat and provides an opportunity to demonstrate resilience and flexibility. Perfection is the killer of joy so don’t get wrapped up in it.
Tip 2: Get Everyone Involved
Get the kids involved and find ways for them to contribute. Kids that participate in meal planning, shopping, and cooking are more willing to take risks with food. When possible, get their ideas on what kind of food they might enjoy or take them to the grocery store and allow them to choose something different to try. You can learn how to prepare and cook it together.
Dinner preparations are another time you can include everyone. Even the littlest ones can help set the table with napkins and silverware. Older kids can help with the actual cooking. Once you get them started, they will enjoy the responsibility to be chief for a night!
Tip 3: Make dinner time a Ritual that is both festive and reverent
When it comes to keeping the family engaged at the table, it can work well to have a ritual and symbols that let everyone to know what to expect. Here are some things that I know work really well for my family
Create a Centerpiece:
My kid’s favorite centerpieces are candles. Something magical happens when the candles are lit. The energy drops, and the whole house takes a collective sigh of relief. As an introvert with two energetic boys, I need this. I’ve been surprised that they never get bored with candles and they stay at the table way longer than usual so that they can blow out the candles. Of course, you have to be very careful with candles and never leave them unattended.
Flowers are another great options for festive centerpieces. You could start a small cutting flower garden or pick up inexpensive flowers at the grocery store. With proper care, they can last weeks.
Kids art! Sometimes your kid will come home with a project that makes them feel proud. Sculpture, clay creations, and other projects can make a fun personal conversation piece.
Collections It is a natural drive of childhood to collect things. Why not place a tray or jar on the table to collect some of those treasures. These can serve as exciting dinner conversation topics.
Be creative! You probably have the perfect thing for your family.
Use Special Place Settings
The choices are endless here. You can use cloth napkins, placemats, or unique dishes to add a little reverence to your family dinners. I love browsing thrift shops for items that can feel unique while being cheap and eco-friendly.
Music
You can choose one type of music have playing quietly in the background during your family dinner, or you can each take turns choosing something fun. Music is a great conversation starter.
Themed nights
Themes are a fun tradition for families dinner with lots of flexibility. They could be as elaborate as preparing meals from around the world complete with music and decorations to match or as simples as Tacos Tuesday. Some families enjoy using themes because it helps with meal planning.
Tip 4: Remove distractions
This is a perfect time for everyone in the family to step away from screens and devices. It can be beneficial to have a charging station where everyone knows to leave their devices when it is time for dinner. The same goes for toys, books, and games UNLESS they are part of an activity you are going to doing at the table.Tip 5: Keep the conversation flowing
There are lots of ideas on Pinterest that are just a click away. Or you can follow my Instagram account where I post dinner conversation idea each week!
Important consideration: Realistic expectations
Lasting behavior change does not happen overnight. It works best when you make small incremental changes. There are a lot of ideas in the article. Choose the one or two that resonate with you most. The goal is to connect so choose items that are low stress. If you are currently having zero family dinners a week, start with 1-2 dinners a week. I’m confident you will notice a difference, and it will leave the whole family ‘hungry’ for more.
If your child has only been sitting at the table for 5 minutes for dinner, they won’t immediately be able to sit for 30. It is something that will build up over time. Keeping them engaged in activity and conversation will help, but remind yourself that this is a long term project.