As a family systems therapist, I require that parents be actively involved in the work that I do with their children. What that participation looks like can vary depending on several factors included the presenting issue or the child’s age. Sometimes I am asked why I choose to work this way and why it is essential. So I’m going to share with you my top four reasons that you need to participate in your child’s therapy.
Because you are the expert on your child
As parents or primary caregivers you are the person who knows your child best. You are the most essential person in their life and where they get most of their information about how the world works and if they are safe. You are the one that greets them in the morning and puts them to bed at night. You see them after their day and are in the best position to be able to help me understand what is going on for them.
You are also the person that is most likely to hear if your child has successes and struggles in their day. If there is a particularly challenging moment in school or a victory at after school activity, you will be the central hub for that information. I use that information to determine the content for and how to structure the session.
You are very literally the expert about your child, and you are a necessary part of making sure the sessions are as effective as possible.
Because your attitude matters
For me to do my best work, I need you to be confident and secure when you come in for sessions. If you do not believe therapy will help, your child won’t either. When you come in for sessions, you get to be part of the process. We can work to increase your understanding of the situation and develop your confidence too. Remember, your child is looking to you to make sure their world is safe. Are you sending them the message that therapy is safe?
Because your involvement will save you time
Generally, therapy is only one hour a week. I’m really good at what I do with kids, but at that frequency, it can take some time for lasting behavioral change to happy. Did you know it takes 2000 repetitions of a positive behavioral to change the way the brain is wired? When you are involved in therapy, I can teach you techniques to use at home. With consistent practice, you can help your kids learn skills faster. Which leaves more room in our session to address the deeper emotional stuff- what you really need a therapist for- or start developing a new skill.
Because it will save you money
If you can take the skills we learn in therapy and reinforce them at home, not only will you see results quicker, but you and your child may be able to reduce the overall amount to time you need to spend coming to therapy.
My objective to help kids get healthy so they can be spending their time living their best lives. Therapy should be like a session of swim lessons. You go for a little while until you learn the skills you need. Then you go out into the world and practice those skills. There might come a time later when you want to go back and learn new skills, but it shouldn’t be a constant commitment.
Because you can improve your relationship and connection to yourself and to your child.
Our children can be our greatest teachers. Participating in therapy doesn’t just help your child. It enables you to understand your child, and it can help you connect with them on a deeper level. That connection a valuable tool to have when things get stressful.
There you have it! My 5 reasons that I think parents and caregivers should be actively involved in the therapy sessions with their child. If you are curious to learn more about the work I do helping kids be their best self, click on the learn more button below to visit my Child Therapy page.